Entry #44: Listening Without Judgment

Dear All: 

While gaining strength from the sun light today and always, I am amazed how distracted I can be and judgmental while listening to just about everyone, whether I agree or disagree. I think we all do it. Toddy does with me. He "booms" at me with his perspective or opinions and I just get so reactive crazy (my defensive shouting when I hear the truth about myself).

When we are listening with judgment, aren't we missing out on some new and interesting idea? Does listening with judgment mean, 1) we do not listen at all 2) we are more comfortable talking 3) we continually have to match the idea or story because we have to "up" the person telling the story (isn't it anti climatic for everyone?) 4) we are not even listening to the person because we want to tell a completely different story (about ourselves) 5) when someone tells us a story we don't even hear it and say nothing (because we are thinking of something else) 6) if someone proposes an new idea or thought and we provide a short negative response because we can only agree based on our own experience (we make it all about us)  7) we are not having an honest conversation 8) it causes monumental marital blow outs 9) listening is hard enough and with judgment it is impossible to have a genuine conversation  10) we are totally lost if we cannot actively listen, right? It is a huge character defect of mine that I am not going to blame my ADD on (for once). I'm just sayin...

Tweets

1. "Listening without judgment has got to be part of my story today, otherwise there is not point."
2. "Do your best to listen carefully when people start telling you what's what today -- they might actually know better than you!"--Yahoo Astrology
3. "Total attention is the best gift I can give anybody."--Deepak Chopra
4. I'm going to Get Over Myself today and listen without judgment (not easy for some reason) and have me a piece of delicious humble pie!

 If I continue my love affair with the sun light and "do" til the cows come home, while keeping my thoughts focused on listening and not judging, nothing can go that wrong, right? 

Lastly, let's pray for the women, children  & animals who need our determined and fierce protection at all times. 

Love,

Kristen

Entry #43: July's Budding Jubilance, Girls Gone Missing and Truth Being--Our Unique Reality

Dear All:

July's sunshine has enriched this month's experience in every way. The garden is peaking from continual rainfall and now the rainbow of Zinnias have begun their journey of sunset yellow, blue velvet purple and stunning ruby red. July's budding spectacular and jubilance have given us the best summer ever!

The chanting of the busy Robin's clatter begins at dawn and their nests ring and whistle into twilight. The whimsical song writing of the backyard birds, is not of this earth. As the intention of the bird's singing illuminates me, I can only bow to their presence and thank them for the light they bring each day. 

Tweet(s)

1.  The garden is happy today, (7/20/12).
2. Where the rainbow illuminate us, there is light (7/18/12). (go Claire!)

As the summer gets its "sexy" on, I often feel helpless to the inevitable chaos of the world, and more specifically to offensive actions toward women, children and animals. I have caught only a glimpse of this ABC News story that seems to haunt me, and with good reason. 

Elizabeth Vargas of ABC News reports, "India, has a total population of 1.1 billion as of 2010. In India, there are one million girls systematically killed every year because of the gender preference for boys." She adds, "families have to pay expensive dowries to marry off their daughters." "As Vargas, walks, the streets are teaming with males. Women appear to be absent. The report is struck by the visible disparity. But this is not uncommon, because the judiciary and authorities do not acknowledge the illegality because they believe in the same mentality." Vargas spoke with Ruchira Gupta, a Women's Rights Activitst, who said, "It is an obliteration of a whole class, race, of human beings. Its half the population of India." I am shaking my head right now, but certain, that our dear Deepak Chopra of New Dehli, is using his western connections and politics to get to the bottom of this fucking charade.

As the trees and shrubs whisper and giggle from the yard, I am surprised how the truth brings me perfect calm, time and time again. If I am open to listening and not in fear of my unique reality then (which is not pretty sometimes), 1) I am letting go of my denial 2) I can have an honest conversation with my loved ones 3) I can be a better mother (oh god) 4) I am relieved because what "it is" 5) it eradicates my self deception (oh, I like that one) 6) I continue the path to my illumination 7) my reactive crazy subsides (oh boy) 8) I am like everyone else  9) my honesty sets me free and 10) what is that bad about being imperfect anyway? Isn't it egocentric to believe that we can attain perfection at all? Who cares!

Tweet(s)

1. I am what I am today!
2. I Got Over Myself today when I learned that my unfavorable truth is my reality.
3. If I am free of my ego bullshit today, I am good to go!

If we can embrace the season's illumination (and it is a hot & sexy one) and contact our favorite Hindu, Deepak Chopra in aggressively working on turning India's idea of human existence completely around (WTF!), while learning that our truth(s) good/bad are our own own unique reality (and learning from it to gain emotional control) then nothing can go that wrong right? 

Let's pray for the women, children and animals that need our fierce and determined protection at all times.

Love and Sincerely,

Kristen