Thursday, July 26, 2012

Entry #44: Listening Without Judgment

Dear All: 

While gaining strength from the sun light today and always, I am amazed how distracted I can be and judgmental while listening to just about everyone, whether I agree or disagree. I think we all do it. Toddy does with me. He "booms" at me with his perspective or opinions and I just get so reactive crazy (my defensive shouting when I hear the truth about myself).

When we are listening with judgment, aren't we missing out on some new and interesting idea? Does listening with judgment mean, 1) we do not listen at all 2) we are more comfortable talking 3) we continually have to match the idea or story because we have to "up" the person telling the story (isn't it anti climatic for everyone?) 4) we are not even listening to the person because we want to tell a completely different story (about ourselves) 5) when someone tells us a story we don't even hear it and say nothing (because we are thinking of something else) 6) if someone proposes an new idea or thought and we provide a short negative response because we can only agree based on our own experience (we make it all about us)  7) we are not having an honest conversation 8) it causes monumental marital blow outs 9) listening is hard enough and with judgment it is impossible to have a genuine conversation  10) we are totally lost if we cannot actively listen, right? It is a huge character defect of mine that I am not going to blame my ADD on (for once). I'm just sayin...

  1. "Listening without judgment has got to be part of my story today, otherwise there is not point."
  2. "Do your best to listen carefully when people start telling you what's what today -- they might actually know better than you!"--Yahoo Astrology
  3. "Total attention is the best gift I can give anybody."--Deepak Chopra
  4. I'm going to Get Over Myself today and listen without judgment (not easy for some reason) and have me a piece of delicious humble pie!
 If I continue my love affair with the sun light and "do" til the cows come home, while keeping my thoughts focused on listening and not judging, nothing can go that wrong, right? 

Lastly, let's pray for the women, children  & animals who need our determined and fierce protection at all times. 




  1. “Judging is preventing us from understanding a new truth. Free yourself from the rules of old judgments and create the space for new understanding.” ― Steve Maraboli, Life, the Truth, and Being Free

    A good quote, yes? It's so great when we recognize our own limitations and strive to make the change! That's a good step! Keep on rockin' it, Kristen! You give us all great food for thought.

  2. Oh baby... To listen without judging is truly a challenge for all of us.

  3. Hi Liz

    Honey thank you for dropping in. Judging is a so self serving. I can feel it when I do it and it makes me feel so uncomfortable.

    My destructive ego again! Gee whiz what a waste of time.


  4. Hi Toddy:

    Oh look at daddy dropping into the GOY party! Can you imagine how easy life would be if we could turn off our judgments, which are so self serving?

    I am guilty of it at times and it prevents me from being present.


  5. Yes, judging seems to be part of the human sludge! The best I can get to is noticing when I'm judging and letting that just go on and trying to listen past it, much like writing while the voices of "This is no good" just rant on in their corner. I love the way you combine nonjudgmental listening with sunshine. Great metaphor.

  6. Hi Ginger
    Thank you for popping into the GOYP!

    That judging is so self serving right? What do we care what anyone else is doing other than us? And why would we waste our time on that when the universe has given us so much, starting with our two fingers to type this and a computer.

    Talk soon Ms Ginger.


  7. I love this last comment you made to Ginger. That says it all. Why is listening without judgement so hard? It is though, I agree. You are not alone, Kristen. But you're unique in your willingness to take a good hard look in the mirror and then share your journey here. Bravo. Or should I say "Brava"?

  8. Hi Sue

    I truly believe that we are so wrapped up in our own experience (which is a bunch of shit) that we can not get our head out of our ass long enough to listen to anything without interrupting or silently disagreeing and saying OK.
    I am very guilty of this bullshit. Oh god, now I am going to go get over myself.

    Thank you lamb for your present and thoughtful comments, time and time again.