Thursday, December 30, 2010

Entry #13: Little Truths, Barack Obama's, "of Thee I Sing" and Rising Above the Ego Clutter

Dear All:
The New Year's Moon is resting powerfully in the black sky at the moment while drawing out all of our truths, justices and hopes for the upcoming year. We had some magnificent blizzard this holiday. Our roof's glaciers are thawing and air is growing more mild as the clock ticks to 2011. 

It was an exciting, but busy holiday season. Our families joined together for Christmas Eve and Christmas Day which was wonderful. Friends and family were close by for the occasional bitch slap and hysterically fits of laughter. Cheers to the family!

We all know I am a happy person and try like hell to see the good in things, but it is just that Christmas leaves me with very little breathing room, literally. I love to shop and give presents, it is awesome, but the job becomes intense toward the end. The gift wrapping requires such finesse and flexibility by the end I am crippled from bending over on the ground, one day I will do it on a table.

I shopped like my mother and sister, I never stopped until the job was done. I took care of Brady (birthday is coming up too), purchased all of the gifts for my Diva mom and my sweet but sometimes salty sister (love that about her she is very funny). I did not stop until I got all of Toddy's beautiful presents ( I shrunk his favorite zip sweater so I really needed to pull that down for the team). I  was so excited about his gifts that I plumb forgot about Todd's stocking treats. 

I did have a sweet baby duckling ornament wrapped for him, but then I needed to fill it with more sugar plumbs I was stuck. What about a screwdriver? socks? handkerchiefs? well none of that was actually going to fit IN the stocking. So I went to my favorite Hindu (again and again if you get tired of him leave it in the comment box please), picked up several cards (Manifesting Good Luck cards) and never looked back. When Todd opened his stocking I made him say the cards to me, and it was really fun because they were all right on target and very true. Love to Get Over Myself, it is so necessary, gotta say!

I acknowledge my emotions and act upon them in a way that enhances my relationships.

When I recognize some one's admirable attributes, I openly show my appreciate and gratitude.

I compliment and praise others which enriches both of our lives.

What I like or dislike about other people reflects a similar quality in myself.

I regard everyone I meet as an equal - with sensitivity and respect.

I honor and respect everyone on my path.
Deepak Chopra

This particular Christmas was extra special because the lovely and talented Sarah Boyle joined us who (one of my three awesome nieces) gave Brady, Barack Obama's "of Thee I Sing, A Letter To My Daughters as one of his Christmas gift's.
Sarah shared her appreciation for this book when she gave it to Brady and I have to agree with her. 

The message is an honest and loving letter from a father to his daughters. I thought these ideas should come from parents to children, children to parents, brothers to sisters, all of it to everyone. Get Over Yourself if you are not sending the message of life out there, which is, loving kindness bundled with joy with a smile on top, let's have the flow of positive energy happening at all times please! We need it thank you very much! Sarah, thank you for sharing this book with Brady and me too! 

He asked them in the most loving way,

Have I told you that you are creative?
Have I told you that you are smart?
Have I told you that you have your own song?
Have I told you that you are strong?Have I told you how important it is to honor others' sacrifices? (going to have to blog about this right? please remind me)
Have I told you that you are kind?
Have I told you that you don't give up?

Lastly, I just sit here in the dark (again) in awe of the world's tragedies and magic. I shall always search for the earth's positive energy wherever I can find it and the people who live in its center and deep in its vortex. I will always try and rise above my mind's ego centric clutter (sorry I am human), try to stop and finish a thought when my ADD is making me short circuit. I want to learn how to listen (mostly), learn (from others) and deliver on a moment's promise. 

Thank you all for reading Get Over Yourself in your busy days. *Please remind me to honor other's sacrifices. This is huge for an upcoming blog of a chapter!

Moving forward, here we go! Need more bandwidth mommy! 

Please let's pray for the children and animals that need us, more than we will ever know.

With Love and Sincerely,

P.S. You are all awesome!

Saturday, December 4, 2010

Entry #12: Feeling of Joy, Heaven and Nature Sing!

Hi All:
This twilight's December evening could not be more romantic. The sky is a light and  streaky dark grey with cold craggy branches that pricker the skyline. There is remains of a snow dust from our recent flurry that has set all the Christmas lights a twinkling. The winter's night and days illuminate the joy of nature, which is heavenly in every way.  

Joy is an under used word. I do not hear it often, (when people are expressing themselves) but I see it in people's eyes when they are in the company of people they love and when with their animals. 

While in the crush of Christmas, we have the nice songs that we hear very often round town and everywhere else. What is your favorite Christmas song? I love "Silent Night". "Joy to the World" is a good one too because of "heaven and nature sing".  I have been singing this my whole life but it never really dawned on me until I opened up my holiday card from Patricia Luzzi of  ( She nails these ideas and visions every single time. Thank you Patricia!

On a dim note today (12/15/2010), there has been an devastation at our local beach this week (Gilgo Beach, our swimming and surfing backyard). Four beautiful women lost their lives along our beaches due to very unfortunate circumstances. The situation has left this community in a state of disbelief and sadness. Helicopters have been swarming from my house to the beach and back to airport (just behind my house) looking for another missing woman (but now that theory has been put to rest, I think). Our hearts are broken for their families and everyone wishes they were there to help those girls who were so cold and afraid and lost out there.

As we say our tiny prayers daily and as Adele Reese Bisagni (one of my most important spiritual guides), once said, "I dial direct." And when we get them on the line we say, oh dear spirit (wherever you are) thank you so much for all that you do, all the time. Thanks for these mittens that fit Brady (but don't match, who cares get over it)! Thank you for all of my friends who are my family (no matter what, always and forever) thank you for keeping us warm and mostly for giving us all the laughter- all these years! Honestly can't thank him enough for that.  

Nature always comes up in these love discussions but it provides the most dramatic impression, for me.  Even though the trees are bristling from the bitter cold, they always seem to provide warm cover to the birds and for the critters that sleep deep inside of them. 

I do not have any curtains in my windows so I am always looking and searching for the next marvelous happening. The  laws of nature run like clock work. It is supposed to be like this, laws of nature are absolute. Right? Right. The sun's brilliant rise and the morning's long drawn cardinal's chirping to dusk's final call. I will never tire of nature's abundances. 

Here are some words (of our poets are know for sure) that convey that heaven and nature sure do sing, how lovely:

"Each season has its own wonder, it's own special place, and
     purpose in the pattern of creation. -Unknown

The sun does not shine for a few trees and flowers, but for the wide world's joy."
                                                                                    - Henry Ward Beecher

With all the joy and heaven and nature singing there has been a lot of chaos and holiday preparation. I got over myself at least 1 million times this week, it was great because I always need to get over myself. 

All that I can do is keep the pace going on the path to light (in my moments of denial)  because it is Christmas (a wonderful time in life), do my work, love my family (who are my friends too) and keep my thoughts and heart in the right place. 

Thank you all for taking the time to read in your busy days. Pray for the animals and children who need us in so many ways.  

Please all be very well.

With Love and Sincerely,

Monday, November 22, 2010

Entry #11 Denial (My Favorite Place), My Father's Message, and Loving As A Constant State

Hi All:
I am sitting here and feeling very grateful for the Autumn day in front of me (perfectly mild breeze with deep orange and red leaves dancing from one branch to another). I am excited and relieved to have it made to and from Barcelona in one piece with Brady and mostly thankful to my state of denial (my favorite place) since it keeps me in a calm place with chaos and uncertainty swirling all around me.

Denial is my favorite place (is it living in the present maybe, is that what a Buddhist would say?) since it gives me the tools to cope with upcoming events that have me in a jitter.

Events such as the possibility of adopting a newborn baby and having no idea when or how it is actually going to happen, preparing for a slightly larger family just as I reach my comfort zone or how about this: submitting a book proposal on Get Over Yourself Place to get the message of this blog out there and see what happens. Hopefully these dreams will manifest. These certain dreams do require some denial. Why is that?  Because these kinds of dreams require much more bandwidth! Ha ha Mommy.

I am so proud of my denial mechanism because I know when I am doing it. I train my thoughts to not even think about what will come next. It greatly reduces my anxious state of mind.

I have a great example of this, here it goes, hope it is not too long,

Last summer we vacationed on our boat for ten days with Kooky who was 18 months old at the time. I said to my mother in -law, while loading the baby car seat on to the boat, "I am in such denial about this trip in every way, I have to live in the present or I will die." Meddi knowing me pretty well shook her head and said, "I get that totally". Sure enough on that very day (while burning from Montauk Point to Block Island), there are eight foot waves crashing on me, the boat and Brady in his little car seat (boat felt like a tin cup). This proved that my underlying anxiety was valid, and denial (my favorite place) helped me cope with this type of situation that I had no control over. Everything was fine but there were a few moments of helplessness and then intense prayer.

When I look for messages; whether it be a sad story in the news (I always think well instead of becoming fearful, what is the lesson here and how can it become an inspiration on some level?) or swirling birds outside my window at 5am or a message on a delivery truck, we think when we see them, and say, "No, it can't be, I am silly", but then you realize it is REAL while your brain is processing it your soul connects to the thoughts as well.

This August, while driving down the beautiful country side road of Route 110 (not!) here in Long Island in the super hot heat and dusty light blue sky,  and right in front of my car is this big, loud seventy foot delivery truck with very bold white and evergreen colors (I shall never forget) it read:

Be Kind
Be Careful
Be Your Best Self

I am sorry, but I've never seen a Mack truck with my name on it, much less with words of being nice and kind, right? I am not crazy am I?

That (for me) was a direct dial from my late father and it was heaven talking at its best. As I am reading it, I am so sure that these words are for me to understand or feel for that matter. Cause in this world you better be kind, you better be careful and you BETTER be your best self, is that too much to ask ? Thank you Dad for that one.

The best way to think of my late father and deal with my grief was actually (not denial, my favorite place), finding a way to remove myself and the feelings associated with losing him with his own happiness. In a way, like Getting Over Myself right? Did I remove my ego, is that possible? I began to feel happy for him and accepting of his transformation into another place of light.  I have no idea how I came to this conclusion but my father's death was somehow beautiful for me because he was so relieved. Oh I love that one! Everyone has their own journey with loss and grieving and I understand that too.

I really cannot believe that I sit here and write on my diary every week about all things; unconditional love. The more I learn to love thyself and nurture others (even when they may not be loving back for some reason) that is all that I can think of or do. I feel like the less judging and comparing and even criticizing others and MYSELF has brought on positive spiritual AND physical changes. Cultivating this constant state of loving has been so rewarding. My heart sure feels good too!

Here is a perfect proverb from my Dream cards,

"The mind determines what's possible, The heart surpasses it."
Pilar Coolinta 

An elderly women wearing a Red Cross cape passed a very small and tiny sticker to us as we waited on line to enter the Gaudi Cathedral (the most stunning structure ever with distinct rainbow beams of light inside, so remarkable ) in Barcelona last week that said :

For Love of Others

I thought, she seems like the happiest person in the world. She's been standing here for how long, ten hours or more? She is still pleasant and smiling.

There are many great spiritual leaders, authors, teachers and texts that translate unconditional love, but there is nothing more than experiencing it

I am all over the place today (the Full moon to blame again and again) but I know that you will all forgive me somehow and Get Over Yourselves! He He I love you guys.

Thank you all for your conversation and support. I know we are all so busy. God bless the children and the animals. They need so much hope, I guess we all do.

With Love and Sincerely,

Sunday, November 7, 2010

Entry #10 In All Things of Nature, There is Something of the Marvelous

Hi All:
The temperature has dipped here in NY, the skies are clear and the leaves are beginning to crackle which means that winter is booming on in. And I say,  "Bring it:, because winter is so very dramatic and intense and those creamy and thundery clouds in the sky do not disappoint me, ever!

The message found me last week while shopping at Whole Foods here in Long Island and thank god because my head is spinning in so many directions I am surprised I am sitting here talking to you guys. 

The card found me first (there are no mistakes) and then I researched iconic Neil Young who finds his church and solace in his backyard, The Redwoods of San Mateo County. The cherry on the cake was revealed during a conversation in my kitchen, with my dear friend Cindy Dreher who just returned from the spiritual vortexes of Sedona, Arizona. 

This card is what kicked off the idea of Nature As My God. 

In all things of nature there is
something of the marvelous.

The loving and funny people of this earth move me that is no question. I have to agree that there are some awesome cathedrals, fancy mosques and temples that will take your breath away. But time and time again I am in awe of the earth's sun light, raindrops, the chubby clouds, the screaming thunder, the temperature's heat and frigidity and the songs of the soft wind. I mean to be part of the nature and weather that exists here is something of the marvelous - thank you Aristotle. I am always like did you see that? 

I am so happy that I am a person that can  appreciate it, and say, "Oh my god did you see that red headed wood pecker fly by or Brady did you see that spider web?"  or my sister will say, "You have to see the silvery moonlight it blinding me and it is midnight." For me and many of us I hope we respect and adore the waves that roll in and out of our beaches, the dusty dirt roads that lead us to the thickest forests, a snowstorm's silence. I see a whole lot of God right there.

When I decided to nature worship on this week's blog I did a little research on the man  himself, Neil Young who is a poet and iconic song writer. He too has deep faith in god's work of nature. He says very simply,

 “I'm not a preacher, and I'm certainly not a good example, but I have my own feelings about God. I'm kind of a nature guy. My cathedral is forests, or the prairies, or the beach.”

I mean Neil Young has always been on the menu for music for all of us, but when I heard him share that with Charlie Rose this year in fact, I thought well of course we are in the same church.

Does nature provide a spiritual energy? My very dear friend Cindy Dreher experienced this first hand on her trip to Sedona Arizona. She went on a shaman/Indian vortex tour and what was asked of her what she worshipped she looked at those dynamic mountains and red rocks on her landing and said "nature". We all grow and search for the calm light in side and to find it in our atmosphere is again, something of the marvelous, thank you Aristotle.

There is so much to be thankful for on this living earth, just look outside and stop complaining that we are not perfect or something is wrong or not like someone else, Get Over It. Nature is perfect because it is not perfect, right? All those mistakes made some kind of beautiful. Or when people complain about the weather, I am like, "what"? It is supposed to be raining cats and dogs didn't you figure that out? There are no mistakes. Just cool challenges to take us down so we can get back up. Look at how nature gets its ass kicked all of the time and it just keeps on thriving and growing. We could learn a big lesson from nature each day.  

Nature has and will always knock me right on the head with its beauty. Nature teaches me to get over myself with every breath that I take. All day long nature is telling me, "Look at my rich red colored flower petals", or "hey down there look at how I breathe life into the air all the way up here with my branches? "Look at what I am raining all over you today so your bushes will stay happy and perky." 

Loving nature is a gift, I have no idea how I discovered it like I did. But I am so thankful for it. 

And to conclude our message today, I found a quote from the endearing and the truly amazing Joseph Campbell (no one like him, never will be)

The goal of life is to make your heartbeat match the beat of the universe, to match your nature with Nature. 

Nature gets a bad wrap on TV but we all know it is going to out smart us all when the time is right.

Thank you all so much for being my followers and participating and reading in your busy days. God bless our children and animals.

With Love and Sincerely,

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Entry #9: My Relationships Are A Mirror of Myself, Physical Principals of The Secret and The United Methodist Church

 I swear they hit me on the head each week to blog about the message of this unconditional love that inspires me over and over again.

Today one of the angels pushed me into the corner of my bedroom where a stand alone card sat, revealing its message to me (from my favorite Hindu Deepak Chopra). Here we go, and it is appropriate after the week we all had.

My relationships are a mirror of myself

I know that whatever I create 
in my mind and heart 
will come back to me
in the same measure
with others.

No matter how we try and disprove this theory it is true. A little sprinkle of The Secret (Law of Attraction) on top of that and you have your own reality. 

In my life there were so many times that either 1) I was so deserving of something because of my talent and beauty (not), 2) oh my look at what my ex husband did to me, can you believe he did that after all that I did for him? 3) I am such a good person I deserve so much more, 4) or look at what she/he has, why don't I have that too? It was always my ridiculous ego getting in the way of what I wanted and deserved and thought I should have. 

One day when all that I deserved never happened, when some of my friendships had failed, when all of my dreams seemed to have never materialized, I sat still for awhile and realized that I was relieved. 

I said to my dear friend Joe Morrissey once, "You know I sure worked hard at my tech sales jobs, as a bikini designer, as a term life insurance broker, and I was never really that successful, really, but it I am actually still standing and it doesn't matter you know?" She absolutely agreed! I thought oh thank god I was a bit of a failure, congratulations to me

Once I stopped feeling like I deserved anything, and got over feeling abandoned, (I guess we all do at some time), and consoled my poor ego for being fired, my life became so much more quiet and lovely. 

Love as well as light and clarity began to pour in like water. Every day I would say to myself, "Oh I get to bring someone a small gift today", or "I get to call my dear friend and tell them I love them because I am driving by their house", or "I am going to help my parents' with their doctor's visit", or "if someone told me some bullshit that another had said and I stood up and scolded them for telling me (not who the person was that was talking about me,) I was able to live like a loving and nurturing person, cut through the white noise of our existence as adults and keep giving the love which is what we are here to do! That's right I said it. 

We can all change our relationships, starting with ourselves, feeling grateful, thinking truly happy and positive thoughts of others and actually seeing how all of your relationships change and heal for the better. Did you throw out a compliment today? Tell someone their eyes were shining? 

The intention of our thoughts and feelings is so much more physical than we give it credit, I am watching it in my own life. 

Being a loving being is the best gift we can give ourselves, I promise. 

I plan on getting some structure in my spiritual journey by visiting the Buddhist Temple here in Centerreach, NY (my brazilian bikini waxer, Sam is Thai and she offered to take me ). I am a closet Hindu too.  But just down the street is The United Methodist Church with a bulletin outside on the lawn of the church. One time I passed by and it said, 

Be Nice to your Enemies
It Messes with Their Heads (no joke )

today it read, 

Count your blessings
Not Your Problems

I have get to the Sunday sermon, right?

In signing off, I am counting each one of you as my blessing. You all mirror the love and peace I feel in my heart. Thank you for reading in your busy days!

God bless all of the animals and children of this beautiful world. Please god bless them.

With Love and Sincerely,

Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Entry #8 How Can I Love You Better? Mallika Chopra's Intent and Dream

Hi All
When I lived in San Francisco I thought that the weather could not be any more stellar. But the weather in New York is perfectly stunning, even when it is raining or cloudy. It must be the way the sunlight luminates, the moisture in the air, the tall, vast trees. The moonshine is blinding tonight. The moon is so bright and there are no clouds at all. It is an east coast night at its finest.

This is my 8th entry of Get Over Yourself Please and am I starting to convince myself that I am silly and do not know what I am talking about. But then I get my chakra's in order, I take a deep breath and tell myself, (and this is the beauty of life)  you don't know what you are doing but who cares, right? Get Over It !

As usual I had nothing to say and no where to go until I read a column in Martha Stewart's holistic magazine, Whole Living. I discovered this cool columnist/blogger named, Catherine Newman's whose message in this particular article mirrors 
Get Over Yourself, Please.  

I am always looking for snippets of inspiration. I do find them, however, they are not messages that I can apply to everyday situations, like removing my ego and expectations, reducing the potential for petty conflicts with others or multiple ways to empathize with others. 

However, this message hit right on the button. The name of the article is, The Love Experiment : The One Question That Changes Everything

Love Experiment, How Can I Love You Better?

Catherine Newman writes, "Let me back up. What happens first is this: I am skimming Zen teacher and executive coach Marc Lesser's book "Less: Accomplishing More by Doing Less," scouting for easy tips.
Instead I stumble on a quote from Vietnamese Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh, who recommends that we ask our closest friends and family -- brace yourself -- "Please tell me how I can love you better."
It is such a simple idea. But it blows me away. 
Instead of spending your energy imagining what everybody wants, Lesser writes, you can simply ask. 

It's a radical question," Lesser explains when I speak with him. "Radical in that it's so disarming. And it's a fundamental shift from the world of
me." Indeed. Because when we think of how to improve our relationships, we tend to think of how other people can make us happy -- a happiness that can get lost on its winding path through criticism and coercion. 

If this were a proper self-help story, I would promise "10 Ways to Get Yourself Heard" -- but it's not. It's about asking and listening, then paying attention to your own behavior."

  1. Ask
  2. Listen
  3. Pay Attention to Your Own Behavior 
-Catherine Newman

So in loving ourselves completely and when we do (that is a journey all in itself) then we can ask our closest friends and family what they need for us to love them more? I think that is Zen Buddhism and I am in!

As a very cool surprise, I came across Deepak Chopra's daughter Mallika, founder of - an online community for turning your intentions into actions - she believes that stories have to the power to inspire, motivate and change.  Please check it out,

As long as our world is about everyone else and what we can do for them (and not ourselves) like I have said before, it manifests good luck and loving relationships.

Lastly and lovingly, I found a brand new set of DREAM cards that Todd probably put in my christmas stocking when we were first married. Here it is:

"Life tends to respond to our outlook, to shape itself to meet our expectations."
Rich Devos

Thanks everyone for reading in your busy days. Let's pray for lots of bright light in these upcoming days/years and do our best to protect the children and animals and people who need love and comfort so badly.

Let's never surrender and never give up on the beauty of EVERYTHING and EVERYONE on this planet, no matter what.

With Love and Sincerely,


Thursday, October 7, 2010

Entry # 7: The Most Important Thing in Life is to Be Capable of Loving

Hi All:
My bedroom light is a dim yellow right now. I am in a peaceful state, but sorrowful to tell you all that my very dear friend of a bunny passed away today.

We gave him a life that I do not think any bunny could ever dream of. I am so happy (for him) that he is in heaven dreaming with the angels right now. I will miss brushing his velvet fur with my eyelashes and watching his cotton tail as he hops away.

Isn't it beautiful how we just love and love (even when we get pissed off that not enough is coming back, oh I go down that vortex sometimes you should hear me ) and it just just keeps on going and going? Maybe not how much respect or love or dignity you deserve, but how much genuine love did you throw out there today?

When my close friends and I are talking, I will bring up one of my many character defects, that I think I am a tad disconnected, I am not that present, I and/or I do not know if I feel things like normal people. And they say, "No, you are so loving and connected", and I am shaking my head saying "No I am not."

But now when I reflect on Puff's arrival and how that little bunny hopped into our bedroom, literally. I could not clean that ol cage enough, run downstairs to fetch his lettuce fast enough or god knows what. And this went on and on and on. Even when Brady (our son) was born and Finney (our dog) came home. I was always like, "Can you watch Brady while I go get some lettuce for Puff"? When Puff came along I suppose some of the reserve of love I was holding on to was released. To care for this soft, furry bunny was my delightful pleasure in every way. And I am sure that Todd has thought to himself on occasion, "I can't believe she isn't complaining about all of the work this rabbit requires." he he right honey?

But you never know until the opportunity of love presents itself. I found this passage that I think is telling for this entry,

"Each friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive." -Thousand Paths to Enlightenment by David Baird.

And this thought goes for all of us who live and die for our animals. Never enough clean water for them, never enough warmth, never enough hugs or kisses. It is very true that animals are the embodiment of loving kindness but perhaps we are too now that we have discussed it!

It is one thing to be loved, but to love completely is quite another.

With tears streaming down my face, I say goodbye to my "best bunny ever".

Thanks for reading everyone in your busy days.

With Love and Sincerely,

Friday, October 1, 2010

Entry # 6 : I Go To My YOGI Tea Bags For The Message of Self and Universal Love

Hi All:
I think this time is so beautiful in every way. The light is becoming more golden. The flowers are changing from deep purples and blues to red, orange and yellow. The leaves are turning to marmalade colored jam and a lighter green.  The birds are fluttering around our garden a bit more in order to get ready for their trip down south. I am in awe of nature's beauty in every way possible.

But honestly no matter how much I try to be calm and mellow and embrace; everything is beautiful, I am anxious, hyper and short circuited when fall comes. Even when I was working, I always felt as if I was going to be fired, and I always was getting fired (right Christina Pettigrew?) And every time it was awesome, I have to say.

These days, I sit in my kitchen waiting for my epiphanies, which I am able to do  (thank you god for this new job of being a Mother). This week, however, I say to myself; you are all over the place, you are not feeling anything and your ADD is at a fever pitch. And further, realize that I am unable to access  the shining light inside that always seems to be present. This time of year brings me to reality, no matter how I try to elude it.

Again my challenge this week is to  Get Over Myself, to be functioning at a reasonable level, to be calm and right inside even if your baby has become Chucky, you have appointments that must not be cancelled and you are adopting a baby in the very near future (another story oh boy). People run countries, manage businesses, fly jets, and they remain calm, stay in control and radiate love and light all day long. That's what I see.

So, where do I go?  (Susan Campisi, My Life With Tommy Blogger will love this), my YOGI tea bags of proverbs of wisdom and my random card picker (from the beautiful Manifesting Good Luck in Love and Relationships author Deepak Chopra) Brady Shaw.

YOGI TEA proverbs:

  1. If you cannot see god in all, you cannot see god at all (spiders and snakes are god too, sorry).
  2. To be calm is the highest achievement of self.
  3. To be healthy; eat right, walk right and talk to yourself right.

Brady Shaw picked this card out of the deck and gave it to me, you know these babies are on to something;

I embrace the world with love
I live my life knowing that love is a universal force that permeates everything

Thanks everybody for reading in your busy days, I love you with all of heart!

With Love and Sincerely,

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Entry #5 Unconditional Love in Marriage/Relationships Even During a Full Mooni

Hi All:
Here is a little un-chicken soup for the married/attached/souls out there! 

Getting Over Yourself Please in Love
  1. Try and be in a constant state of loving kindness to your wife/husband, even when they are not immediately showing it back to you. if they are acting uninspired (within reason), then you act peaceful, the results will stagger you with delight. Our relationships are a mirror of ourselves.
  2. Let your spouse shout (within reason) at you, if they are in an upheaval. If you hurt their feelings, try and say your sorry and get to the what is bothering them. Ask them in a kind way. Demonstrate removing your ego from conflict with a a partner and build trust.
  3. If your partner is struggling (within reason, this could apply to first time parents) and ready to blow their top, sit them down and ask what it is, do not turn around and struggle too, this is not productive. Please try and not demonstrate reactive behavior. 
  4. Try and have an argument without raising your voice (I did it once and it was awesome). It is so powerful and cool. 
  5. Have sex no matter what, if you still have a desire to be married. At the most inconvenient time just do it for the team. Your day will come I promise. Sex is a gift, enjoy the happiness.
  6. Love your in laws/family unconditionally. No matter how unlike you they are. Your spouse will appreciate it. 
  7. Surrender to your marriage or partnership lovingly and actually try and be as humble and happy to serve up your loving sincere kindness every day. The results are spectacular. (being in the center of a family can make you tired at times). Get Over Yourself and love everybody always because it is the best way to go.
  8. When we restrain our egotistical emotions and motivations from life situations and remove ourselves, (me and me and how about me, all day long, conscious or unconscious) it is a very easy and peaceful place to be (if you are lucky person in this world to be loved, warm and healthy). 
Get Over It!

"My Life Listens To Yours" - unknown

"Live For Each Other"  Green Tea Bag (I love the saying on tea bags, the best)

"Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength, while loving someone deeply gives you courage." - Lao-Tzu

With Love and Sincerely,

Tuesday, September 14, 2010

Entry #4 I Got Over Myself! You Want A Medal? React Much? Oh Please!

Hi All:
I am amazed how adults react to anger like exploding volcanoes when it comes to petty conflicts.  I am equally amazed how we believe we deserve a Medal for everything (which we don't) and how we spend so much time thinking and talking about how our spouses, families, friends should behave and mirror us during these petty feuds. Oh boy this is a good one!

Todd and I are very excited to adopt a little baby from the US. There is a very specific action plan in order for the process to be successful. I am driving the research and administrative part of this plan now. Yesterday was the day that Todd and I were to review what I have done so far, and proceed forward based on our discussion. The conversation started rather late in the day for us (for one). During our review, Todd was listening to me and looking at his computer (while exploring other avenues in which to find our beautiful baby).  I was tense and raw before we started the discussion, (eyes bulging and shaking my head) because in my petty mind set, this was going to happen (The Secret Laws of Attraction (ha ha)) and I was right. As we are continuing, I am embroiled with resentment and saying to myself, " I can't believe he did not even say what a good job that I did and look, he is looking at the computer and not conversing with me. Where is the discussion here?" Here comes the mud slinging, high pitched voices,  shouting and here we are at - unproductive town!

So I huff and puff, throw the paperwork, curse, slam two doors and then run downstairs.  When I look back on it I think to myself, Oh Dear!  The entire time I am downstairs, I am thinking why does he always turn on me when I am struggling? Why did he not say, KK what is wrong today, are you alright? I spend almost one hour thinking how what he could have done differently. Not me, because I don't react and never raise the negative energy around this house. Yeah OK.

Today I woke up and felt so completely different about this scenario, here is why.

First, everyone believes they deserve a medal for everything. Look I took out the garbage (where is my medal?),  I cleaned the house all day (where is my medal)? and Todd look I did the research portion of this project I was supposed to do in the first place, (where is my medal) Yes, I know that I worked really hard and did a great job, (me needing that medal for that, got me in the hot water in the first place, right)? It was all about me and the very small portion of the plan that I did. Silly Mommy, Get Over Yourself!

On another note (entirely) I think folks have a difficult time complimenting people. What is wrong with telling someone you look great today? or Thank you for what you did for me today, I know you try so hard. Maybe if there was a bit more of that, even one crumb of a compliment, we would not need that medal so badly. And you all know who you are! I think everybody is wonderful and amazing and I tell them every day. You know me!

Secondly, when Todd began to mirror my emotions of frustration, I should have taken the energy right down to where it needed to be. and said, "OK let's talk about this and how we can solve it?" Instead of the walls going up around us that just burst into flames,  I should have said, your advice is sound and I am going to take it and get to the next steps, and be done with it.

If I plan on blogging like this, I better check myself each day and take responsibility for my thoughts and actions. My reacting was a good one last night. Right Cindy?

When we concluded our conversation, Todd was like "KK, you really think you are this feminine version of Buddha, but you are a human being, You switch off when you don't want to hear or do what you don't want to do. He said it in the nicest way and he was right. I have to say why does that type of conversation with Todd trigger me so much? It comes from a little place in me that has nothing to do with Todd, really. Where is the self love? Let's not forget, forgiveness of oneself. I am just so glad that I GOT OVER MYSELF.

As our beloved Deepak Chopra says, (funny how this card came up last night,)
"I deal positively with emotional turbulence." "I recognize and take responsibility for all of my emotions and feelings." Don't you just love Deepak?

Tell someone they are beautiful today because they are! Try, (really try) to thank them for all of the love and support they give you every day. Just try it, don't hold back now.

With Love and Sincerely,

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Entry #3 Jackie Manzo from Housewives of NJ Gets Over Herself and The Energy Changes...

During last night's reunion show of Housewives of NJ , (I am a Bravo reality TV devotee and feel silly by using this as an example but it was so clear to me) was the perfect example of someone getting over themselves and accessing unconditional love.

There was an infantile feud that lasted all season with one character, Danielle and three family members. The entire season revolved around this woman, Danielle and how she seemingly interfered with their lives in a negative way. It is the perfect example of "catty women bull shit."  This season was the Manzo sisters' against Danielle. A the end of each season there is a round table discussion (with a mediator) with the tape of the show rolling and explanation's of why and how each character said and did certain things.

As the reunion show sums up, Jackie, one of the family members, comes our of left field (after much shouting and resentment at Danielle for good reason by the way) removes herself from the situation, turns her emotionality INWARD and says, "I am sorry for what I may have done and that I hurt you."

Danielle (in defensive position since the first moment this program every started) says, "I really appreciate that and I am sorry also for whatever I have done to you and your family". Danielle's walls come down, the other sister's are uncomfortable but relieved. The energy becomes lighter and brighter almost immediately.

I am so hesitant to use this type of example but it is a huge TV show and the first time that I have seen
this type of behavior, ever.

A,lot of this feuding was based on people saying what SOMEONE else said to them (Principle #4). That is no good everyone. Do not let people say what others say about you that is unkind. Not cool. If you are someone that does that ,you are not feeling that great about yourself - sorry that is the way I see it.

We all need to love people for who they are (and some people are freaky, you don't need to have friendships with them) but don't try and hurt people who are fragile.
I have a framed photo on my wall with the dearest little bird in a humans hands that says,
"Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind." Leon Edel's Henry James, A Life.

Being unconditionally kind and loving is the only way to survive among the humans. Once I got over myself, and learned to love everyone, everything and that includes (bugs and trees) in their entirety, accept my actions and thoughts and responsibility, the world became a warm and safe place somehow.

Thanks for reading.

With Love and Sincerely,


Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Entry #2 The Teachers/Readings/Writings Behind the Practice of Unconditional Love

Hi All:
Here I am a grown up and I have to say in this great house we call the world, I am astonished on how reactive and self serving we are. I listen to people and have to bring to the attention of our need to discuss ourselves over and over again into adulthood.

My dear friend Susan Campisi (My Life With Tommy Blogger and Content Manager at Kaiser Permanente) said to me one day, "Kris, I am going to put a microphone up to you and just record what you say." and with that said, I thought well maybe I will just blog it and see what happens.

I enjoy the writings of Buddishm, Deepak Chopra, Eckart Tolle, The Art of Worldly Wisdom written by Balthasar Gracian and The Secret. If and when we can apply these principles of self love and unconditional love to others inour daily lives, it can be powerful. By day removing ourselves from expectations of others, ego driven discussions, and petty conflicts, you will see how life can be peaceful and loving if you just Get Over Yourself.

Below are helpful definitions of these writings and practices that I review.

Buddhist practices such as meditation are means of changing oneself in order to develop the qualities of awareness, kindness, and wisdom.

Seven Laws of Deepak Chopra
1) The Law of Pure Potentiality
2) The Law of Giving
3)The Law of Karma (or Cause and Effect)

4) The Law of Least Effort
5) The Law of Intention and Desire
6) The Law of Detachment

7) The Law of "Dharma" or Purpose in Life

Eckart Tolle
Tolle's teachings aim at transforming human consciousness by turning one's focus within and transcending from the ego based mind to leading a life with an understanding of the limitless potential of the human spirit.

The Art of Worldly Wisdom by Balthasar Gracian
The guide to human nature

The Secret
The law of attraction

Love of thyself and others is constant, growing and shaping us in every way.

Entry #1 Get Over Yourself Principles For Adult (Intrapersonal) And That Means You and Me

Introducing, Get Over Yourself Please
  1. If you are in a petty conflict and someone accused you of something that you "said", or "did" that was unfavorable, let the individual speak to you and try not react. Does everyone know what reacting really means? Make certain to apologize for hurting their feelings, and then let them feel their feelings. Get over yourself and don't make their accusation about you
  2. If you are a messenger of unkind thoughts and words of others, you are at fault  even more so than the person who said it. The messenger is to blame for the bad thought. 
  3. Don't care what others say about you, because you really can't win can you? Someone always has some negative (which comes from them) things to say about you and/or other people. 
  4. Be in agreement that what people could say about you "good" or "bad" is probably true. If you care, then listen and change it. 
  5. Don't be angry because your friend, partner or child is angry at you. Listen to them (ask them not to shout please). Don't react. People are allowed to get angry, children, everyone why do we have this emotion?.
  6. Stop talking about yourself so much unless you are saving this world and telling us how you are doing it. What we have to say isn't that interesting, really, we are all talking all day long, 
  7. Stop comparing yourself to others, really, especially if you are in a good place. That is such a sign of insecurity. People are exactly where they are supposed to be. Get Over Yourself, Please if you think how you raise your children, manage your family, or lover better than others. No one is better than anyone, ever. 
  8. When someone is talking about their success, their adventure or their favorite thing, don't chime in and say you did or have it too, please don't steal their light it is rude and boring. 
  9. When you really restrain your emotions and motivations from many life situations and remove ourselves, (me and me and how about me, all day long, conscious or unconscious) it is an very easy and peaceful place to be (if you are lucky person in this world to be loved, warm and healthy).  Try Getting Over Yourself for one day, it is fun, we promise.
  10. Stop expecting gifts, phone calls, thank you letters, or to be invited to social gatherings.  Get Over Yourself, Please in terms of having a problem with someone/people for not delivering on these things that you have envisioned in your head.