Tuesday, October 19, 2010

Entry #8 How Can I Love You Better? Mallika Chopra's Intent and Dream

Hi All
When I lived in San Francisco I thought that the weather could not be any more stellar. But the weather in New York is perfectly stunning, even when it is raining or cloudy. It must be the way the sunlight luminates, the moisture in the air, the tall, vast trees. The moonshine is blinding tonight. The moon is so bright and there are no clouds at all. It is an east coast night at its finest.

This is my 8th entry of Get Over Yourself Please and am I starting to convince myself that I am silly and do not know what I am talking about. But then I get my chakra's in order, I take a deep breath and tell myself, (and this is the beauty of life)  you don't know what you are doing but who cares, right? Get Over It !

As usual I had nothing to say and no where to go until I read a column in Martha Stewart's holistic magazine, Whole Living. I discovered this cool columnist/blogger named, Catherine Newman's whose message in this particular article mirrors 
Get Over Yourself, Please.  

I am always looking for snippets of inspiration. I do find them, however, they are not messages that I can apply to everyday situations, like removing my ego and expectations, reducing the potential for petty conflicts with others or multiple ways to empathize with others. 

However, this message hit right on the button. The name of the article is, The Love Experiment : The One Question That Changes Everything

Love Experiment, How Can I Love You Better?

Catherine Newman writes, "Let me back up. What happens first is this: I am skimming Zen teacher and executive coach Marc Lesser's book "Less: Accomplishing More by Doing Less," scouting for easy tips.
Instead I stumble on a quote from Vietnamese Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh, who recommends that we ask our closest friends and family -- brace yourself -- "Please tell me how I can love you better."
It is such a simple idea. But it blows me away. 
Instead of spending your energy imagining what everybody wants, Lesser writes, you can simply ask. 

It's a radical question," Lesser explains when I speak with him. "Radical in that it's so disarming. And it's a fundamental shift from the world of
me." Indeed. Because when we think of how to improve our relationships, we tend to think of how other people can make us happy -- a happiness that can get lost on its winding path through criticism and coercion. 

If this were a proper self-help story, I would promise "10 Ways to Get Yourself Heard" -- but it's not. It's about asking and listening, then paying attention to your own behavior."

  1. Ask
  2. Listen
  3. Pay Attention to Your Own Behavior 
-Catherine Newman

So in loving ourselves completely and when we do (that is a journey all in itself) then we can ask our closest friends and family what they need for us to love them more? I think that is Zen Buddhism and I am in!

As a very cool surprise, I came across Deepak Chopra's daughter Mallika, founder of Intent.com - an online community for turning your intentions into actions - she believes that stories have to the power to inspire, motivate and change.  Please check it out, Intent.com--

As long as our world is about everyone else and what we can do for them (and not ourselves) like I have said before, it manifests good luck and loving relationships.

Lastly and lovingly, I found a brand new set of DREAM cards that Todd probably put in my christmas stocking when we were first married. Here it is:

"Life tends to respond to our outlook, to shape itself to meet our expectations."
Rich Devos

Thanks everyone for reading in your busy days. Let's pray for lots of bright light in these upcoming days/years and do our best to protect the children and animals and people who need love and comfort so badly.

Let's never surrender and never give up on the beauty of EVERYTHING and EVERYONE on this planet, no matter what.

With Love and Sincerely,



  1. Kris, you always put a big fat smile on my face. I love how you're on a path of love and light and learning. I love how you want to spread your light to everyone. And I love how you do it with such honesty and humor.

    "I am getting over myself everyday" I just read that in the About me section. Ha! That one made me laugh.

    And you know what's funny? I never get that magazine but I bought it recently and read that article. It's a simple question that can really shift the dynamic in a relationship. Good stuff!

  2. Lovely to read as always. I am excited to see what direction this exercise in Love can actually take my cherished relationships. I love you dearly and will start with you,
    How can I love you better?

    Love, Cindy

  3. hi cindy,
    oh honey that is so cool! Oh my goodness. Girl you couldn't possibly love me or any other plant, animal or person on this planet any more than you do every day.
    You are and have always been light and unconditional love and giving, even when we were teenagers and in sixth grade.
    God Bless You Honey

  4. Hi Sue
    Oh girl what would I even know what to do without you in my life guiding me like you do. Thanks for helping me with everything and getting my nutty loving kindness thing. Oh getting over myself has been funny let me tell you. Came across Deepak's daughter's site, Intent.com which you should take a peak at.
    wink wink love you honey thank god for your friendship.