Entry #9: My Relationships Are A Mirror of Myself, Physical Principals of The Secret and The United Methodist Church

 I swear they hit me on the head each week to blog about the message of this unconditional love that inspires me over and over again.

Today one of the angels pushed me into the corner of my bedroom where a stand alone card sat, revealing its message to me (from my favorite Hindu Deepak Chopra). Here we go, and it is appropriate after the week we all had.

My relationships are a mirror of myself


I know that whatever I create 
in my mind and heart 
will come back to me
in the same measure
with others.

No matter how we try and disprove this theory it is true. A little sprinkle of The Secret (Law of Attraction) on top of that and you have your own reality. 

In my life there were so many times that either 1) I was so deserving of something because of my talent and beauty (not), 2) oh my look at what my ex husband did to me, can you believe he did that after all that I did for him? 3) I am such a good person I deserve so much more, 4) or look at what she/he has, why don't I have that too? It was always my ridiculous ego getting in the way of what I wanted and deserved and thought I should have. 

One day when all that I deserved never happened, when some of my friendships had failed, when all of my dreams seemed to have never materialized, I sat still for awhile and realized that I was relieved. 

I said to my dear friend Joe Morrissey once, "You know I sure worked hard at my tech sales jobs, as a bikini designer, as a term life insurance broker, and I was never really that successful, really, but it I am actually still standing and it doesn't matter you know?" She absolutely agreed! I thought oh thank god I was a bit of a failure, congratulations to me. 

Once I stopped feeling like I deserved anything, and got over feeling abandoned, (I guess we all do at some time), and consoled my poor ego for being fired, my life became so much more quiet and lovely. 

Love as well as light and clarity began to pour in like water. Every day I would say to myself, "Oh I get to bring someone a small gift today", or "I get to call my dear friend and tell them I love them because I am driving by their house", or "I am going to help my parents' with their doctor's visit", or "if someone told me some bullshit that another had said and I stood up and scolded them for telling me (not who the person was that was talking about me,) I was able to live like a loving and nurturing person, cut through the white noise of our existence as adults and keep giving the love which is what we are here to do! That's right I said it. 

We can all change our relationships, starting with ourselves, feeling grateful, thinking truly happy and positive thoughts of others and actually seeing how all of your relationships change and heal for the better. Did you throw out a compliment today? Tell someone their eyes were shining? 

The intention of our thoughts and feelings is so much more physical than we give it credit, I am watching it in my own life. 

Being a loving being is the best gift we can give ourselves, I promise. 

I plan on getting some structure in my spiritual journey by visiting the Buddhist Temple here in Centerreach, NY (my brazilian bikini waxer, Sam is Thai and she offered to take me ). I am a closet Hindu too.  But just down the street is The United Methodist Church with a bulletin outside on the lawn of the church. One time I passed by and it said, 

Be Nice to your Enemies

It Messes with Their Heads (no joke )

today it read, 

Count your blessings

Not Your Problems

I have get to the Sunday sermon, right?

In signing off, I am counting each one of you as my blessing. You all mirror the love and peace I feel in my heart. Thank you for reading in your busy days!

God bless all of the animals and children of this beautiful world. Please god bless them.

With Love and Sincerely,

Kristen

Entry #8 How Can I Love You Better? Mallika Chopra's Intent and Dream

Hi All

When I lived in San Francisco I thought that the weather could not be any more stellar. But the weather in New York is perfectly stunning, even when it is raining or cloudy. It must be the way the sunlight luminates, the moisture in the air, the tall, vast trees. The moonshine is blinding tonight. The moon is so bright and there are no clouds at all. It is an east coast night at its finest.

This is my 8th entry of Get Over Yourself Please and am I starting to convince myself that I am silly and do not know what I am talking about. But then I get my chakra's in order, I take a deep breath and tell myself, (and this is the beauty of life)  you don't know what you are doing but who cares, right? Get Over It !

As usual I had nothing to say and no where to go until I read a column in Martha Stewart's holistic magazine, Whole Living. I discovered this cool columnist/blogger named, Catherine Newman's whose message in this particular article mirrors 
Get Over Yourself, Please.  


I am always looking for snippets of inspiration. I do find them, however, they are not messages that I can apply to everyday situations, like removing my ego and expectations, reducing the potential for petty conflicts with others or multiple ways to empathize with others. 


However, this message hit right on the button. The name of the article is, The Love Experiment : The One Question That Changes Everything. 

Love Experiment, How Can I Love You Better?

Catherine Newman writes, "Let me back up. What happens first is this: I am skimming Zen teacher and executive coach Marc Lesser's book "Less: Accomplishing More by Doing Less," scouting for easy tips.
Instead I stumble on a quote from Vietnamese Zen master Thich Nhat Hanh, who recommends that we ask our closest friends and family -- brace yourself -- "Please tell me how I can love you better."
It is such a simple idea. But it blows me away. 
Instead of spending your energy imagining what everybody wants, Lesser writes, you can simply ask. 

It's a radical question," Lesser explains when I speak with him. "Radical in that it's so disarming. And it's a fundamental shift from the world of me." Indeed. Because when we think of how to improve our relationships, we tend to think of how other people can make us happy -- a happiness that can get lost on its winding path through criticism and coercion. 

If this were a proper self-help story, I would promise "10 Ways to Get Yourself Heard" -- but it's not. It's about asking and listening, then paying attention to your own behavior."

1. Ask
2. Listen
3. Pay Attention to Your Own Behavior 

-Catherine Newman

So in loving ourselves completely and when we do (that is a journey all in itself) then we can ask our closest friends and family what they need for us to love them more? I think that is Zen Buddhism and I am in!


As a very cool surprise, I came across Deepak Chopra's daughter Mallika, founder of Intent.com - an online community for turning your intentions into actions - she believes that stories have to the power to inspire, motivate and change.  Please check it out, Intent.com--


As long as our world is about everyone else and what we can do for them (and not ourselves) like I have said before, it manifests good luck and loving relationships.


Lastly and lovingly, I found a brand new set of DREAM cards that Todd probably put in my christmas stocking when we were first married. Here it is:


"Life tends to respond to our outlook, to shape itself to meet our expectations."
Rich Devos


Thanks everyone for reading in your busy days. Let's pray for lots of bright light in these upcoming days/years and do our best to protect the children and animals and people who need love and comfort so badly.


Let's never surrender and never give up on the beauty of EVERYTHING and EVERYONE on this planet, no matter what.


With Love and Sincerely,
Kristen

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Entry # 7: The Most Important Thing in Life is to Be Capable of Loving

Hi All:
My bedroom light is a dim yellow right now. I am in a peaceful state, but sorrowful to tell you all that my very dear friend of a bunny passed away today.

We gave him a life that I do not think any bunny could ever dream of. I am so happy (for him) that he is in heaven dreaming with the angels right now. I will miss brushing his velvet fur with my eyelashes and watching his cotton tail as he hops away.

Isn't it beautiful how we just love and love (even when we get pissed off that not enough is coming back, oh I go down that vortex sometimes you should hear me ) and it just just keeps on going and going? Maybe not how much respect or love or dignity you deserve, but how much genuine love did you throw out there today?

When my close friends and I are talking, I will bring up one of my many character defects, that I think I am a tad disconnected, I am not that present, I and/or I do not know if I feel things like normal people. And they say, "No, you are so loving and connected", and I am shaking my head saying "No I am not."

But now when I reflect on Puff's arrival and how that little bunny hopped into our bedroom, literally. I could not clean that ol cage enough, run downstairs to fetch his lettuce fast enough or god knows what. And this went on and on and on. Even when Brady (our son) was born and Finney (our dog) came home. I was always like, "Can you watch Brady while I go get some lettuce for Puff"? When Puff came along I suppose some of the reserve of love I was holding on to was released. To care for this soft, furry bunny was my delightful pleasure in every way. And I am sure that Todd has thought to himself on occasion, "I can't believe she isn't complaining about all of the work this rabbit requires." he he right honey?

But you never know until the opportunity of love presents itself. I found this passage that I think is telling for this entry,


"Each friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive." -Thousand Paths to Enlightenment by David Baird.

And this thought goes for all of us who live and die for our animals. Never enough clean water for them, never enough warmth, never enough hugs or kisses. It is very true that animals are the embodiment of loving kindness but perhaps we are too now that we have discussed it!

It is one thing to be loved, but to love completely is quite another.

With tears streaming down my face, I say goodbye to my "best bunny ever".

Thanks for reading everyone in your busy days.

With Love and Sincerely,
Kristen

Entry # 6 : I Go To My YOGI Tea Bags For The Message of Self and Universal Love

Hi All:
I think this time is so beautiful in every way. The light is becoming more golden. The flowers are changing from deep purples and blues to red, orange and yellow. The leaves are turning to marmalade colored jam and a lighter green.  The birds are fluttering around our garden a bit more in order to get ready for their trip down south. I am in awe of nature's beauty in every way possible.

But honestly no matter how much I try to be calm and mellow and embrace; everything is beautiful, I am anxious, hyper and short circuited when fall comes. Even when I was working, I always felt as if I was going to be fired, and I always was getting fired (right Christina Pettigrew?) And every time it was awesome, I have to say.

These days, I sit in my kitchen waiting for my epiphanies, which I am able to do  (thank you god for this new job of being a Mother). This week, however, I say to myself; you are all over the place, you are not feeling anything and your ADD is at a fever pitch. And further, realize that I am unable to access  the shining light inside that always seems to be present. This time of year brings me to reality, no matter how I try to elude it.

Again my challenge this week is to  Get Over Myself, to be functioning at a reasonable level, to be calm and right inside even if your baby has become Chucky, you have appointments that must not be cancelled and you are adopting a baby in the very near future (another story oh boy). People run countries, manage businesses, fly jets, and they remain calm, stay in control and radiate love and light all day long. That's what I see.

So, where do I go?  (Susan Campisi, My Life With Tommy Blogger will love this), my YOGI tea bags of proverbs of wisdom and my random card picker (from the beautiful Manifesting Good Luck in Love and Relationships author Deepak Chopra) Brady Shaw.

YOGI TEA proverbs:

1. If you cannot see god in all, you cannot see god at all (spiders and snakes are god too, sorry).
2. To be calm is the highest achievement of self.
3. To be healthy; eat right, walk right and talk to yourself right.

Brady Shaw picked this card out of the deck and gave it to me, you know these babies are on to something;


I embrace the world with love
I live my life knowing that love is a universal force that permeates everything

Thanks everybody for reading in your busy days, I love you with all of heart!

With Love and Sincerely,
Kristen